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![]() Based on a mostly true interview with Bobcat Goldthwait |
If you haven't been exposed to Bobcat's comedy, you might know him for his role in the second, third and fourth "police academy" movies. This is a pity, because being introduced to Bobcat from the police academy series is like knowing Orson Welles through his last paying gig, shilling vino for Ernest and Julio Gallo. Welles is long gone, and a million worms are fatter for his passing. Despite the strangely persistent rumors to the contrary, Bobcat Goldthwait is very much alive.
Bobcat's telephone call found me pacing around my nearly empty apartment, chain smoking Indian cigarettes and trying desperately to get my stolen tape equipment to work. Although I suspected it was he on the other end, I answered the phone as I always do in the mornings.
"Larry King Live! You're on the air"
Bobcat was not fooled.
"Larry King? You sound more like Regis Philbin"
My bluff discovered, I dropped back down into my normal voice. But Bobcat's voice remained steady, or as steady as his voice gets. I asked him if he ever felt trapped by his trademark, multi octave voice that only Bobcat himself (or people who've been up on crank for five days straight) can pull off.
"What, do you mean, like, do I want to be a Shakespearean actor or something? No, the voice gets me steady gigs. I feel trapped by having been in bad movies."
Whether he likes it or not, Bobcat's name will forever be tied to many film titles. Some of these films (most notably the Police Academy flicks) have not stood the test of time. Goldthwait vehemently denies the rumors of off screen romance with his equine co-star in the 1988 movie "Hot to Trot"
"We were just good friends" Said Goldthwait.
Of Bobcat's big screen work, one stands out as a work of pure genius. His 1991 film "Shakes the Clown" was dubbed "The Citizen Kane of Alcoholic clown movies" by the Boston Globe. Hindsight is 20/20, and if I had my druthers, "Citizen Kane" would be known forever as "The Shakes the Clown of Megalomaniac newspaper publisher movies". Bobcat also has a small part in Ted Demme's upcoming feature film "Blow".
Bobcat's savagely accurate take on the American political scene during the Reagan Era was what originally drew me to him. While he says that his act is less political nowadays, Bobcat has guested on Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect on several occasions. One gets the feeling that Maher and Goldthwait dislike each other, but Bobcat says that this apparent animosity is merely professional.
"We're like that cartoon, you know, the one with the sheepdog and the fox. They punch a timeclock together, try to kill each other for eight hours, and then punch out. At the end of the day, its like…"goodnight, Sam. G'night Ralph"".
Politically Incorrect is just one of the many corners of TV land where Goldthwait can be found. Bobcat also played Master of ceremonies for FX's twisted variety show, "Bobcat's Big Ass Show" . He's also been busily pushing the envelope of his acting range, lending his voice to cartoons such as "Beavis and Butthead" and the Simpsons. Perhaps most difficult was Bobcat's portrayal of "Mr. Floppy," a rabbit puppet on the WB series "Unhappily Ever After".
"Getting into that rabbit costume was really painful"
As always with any interview, I tried to find a common ground between myself and Bobcat - something more tangible than our both being just a hair away from legally insane, and both from upstate New York. This came in the unlike form of Kathy Lee Gifford. Bobcat's been a guest on her show, and I once worked for a company that inspected her sweatshops.
"I like Kathy Lee." He said "She's phony, and she comes off that way on TV. You always know what to expect from Kathy Lee."
I broke into a quick Kathy Lee impersonation, reliving the for-the-camera weep-fest she exhibited upon "discovering" that her factories were using child labor. Bobcat laughed, and we discussed the sweatshop issue for a minute before coming to the mutual agreement that the only decent thing for a consumer to do is to wear nothing but Amish made clothing.
"You could also buy your clothes from people on Phish tour" I added.
"Friends don't let friends wear patchouli" replied Bobcat.
Despite his aversion to Patchouli, I'm scheming to get Bobcat Goldthwait to come to Boulder next weekend and do an impromptu gig on the Pearl Street mall. Bobcat might not be comfortable with this idea. In a mellow town like Boulder, he'd stick out like a wino at a Kiddy party.
"I've been to the People's Republic of Boulder before" He told me
"some guy tried to sell me a hemp watch."
So your best bet is to leave the Boulder bubble and catch him in Denver, where he'll be headlining at the Comedy Works Comedy Club on August 4th & 5th. Regis won't be there, and neither will Kathy Lee. But I will, and you will too if you know what's good for you.