chat

The Strange World of Internet Chat (China News, May 1998)

Slacker. Net Geek. Armchair editorialist. Pervert. The internet has been accused of transforming once upstanding citizens into all of these and worse. What's the attraction that would lead one to while away the hours swapping copy with strangers? Intrepid cybersage Josh Brown skirmishes deep into the dank recesses of the Internet to bring back strange tales from the world of Chatland.

IRC -- A basic overview      IRC stands for "Internet Relay Chat”, a fairly simple program written by Jarkko Oikarinen in 1988. IRC is a multi-user chat system, where people meet on channels (rooms, virtual places, usually divided into specific topics of conversation) to talk in groups, or privately. IRC is a pastime to some, an excellent tool for meeting people, networking, and discussion to others, and, to others still, an obsession.
     Basically it works like this. You hook into your Internet server the same way as you normally would to surf the web, and then use an IRC program to hook into one of thousands of MIRC severs. Finding an IRC server isn't -- your program should have a few default ones. Finding one that is large enough to have enough users logged on simultaneously, yet small enough to allow a swift flow of information is often tricky. Factors such as local time (at the server location) and popularity can often cause different servers to be quicker or slower, crowded or not.
     To the novice, Internet Relay Chat can be likened to a hotel with an infinite number of rooms, each room containing any number of people engaging an conversation about whatever topic they've ostensibly gathered there for. There are few rules, and obviously such a lack of restriction might attract strange characters. The tabloids abound with tales of marriages being broken up due to cyber infidelity, innocents being enticed by smooth typing degenerates, and worse. Having come across more than one cyber charlatan in my travels, I understand the concerns that normal folk might have when exposing themselves to the free for all of IRC chat. My experience has been that most people gather to discuss basically whatever the channel name suggests. If you're in a channel called #politics, that’s the kind of discussion you’re going to get. If you log into one of the many sex channels, you shouldn't be too surprised when your fellow chat mates start asking you intimate questions. As my old friend Jack the alcoholic transvestite used to say: “Hang around a barbershop, eventually somebody's going to offer to cut your hair.” A brief guide to IRC commands.      Like any new hobby that you pursue in public, you risk looking like an idiot if you jump into IRC chat without a smattering of technical knowledge. Most IRC programs will include a primer. A (/) before anything you type in an IRC screen indicates that what you are writing is a command . Some basic commands are:

· /list -- Will list all available chat channels on the server.

· /list -min 5 -- Same as above, but will only list channels that currently have five or more participants. Of course you can specify any number you'd like.

· /nick (name) -- Changes your handle. If your handle is already being used by another chatter on your server, you'll be given 60 seconds to change it again.

· /join (#channel) -- Does just what it says.

· /me (message) -- Tells the channel what you’re doing, allowing for some theatrics. When I type “/me disappears in a puff of logic” it comes across as “Josh disappears in a puff of logic”.

· /part (#channel) --parts the channel your currently on

· /quit all (any message you like) -- This one will have you exit every channel at once, leaving a message in your wake.

Josh parts “here comes the boss” is a pretty common one.

Oh, the people you’ll virtually meet

     Now that you’ve got your basic commands down, you might want to know what sort of topics you’re likely to find being discussed in the chat rooms. In theory, you should be able to find every subject from Aardvark breeding to ZZ Top club dates simply by logging onto the appropriately named channel. While a channel’s name may bear little or no resemblance to the topics being discussed at that particular moment, It does serve as a fairly good indicator as to the interests of characters you’ll be conversing with.
     In my own forays into Chatland I’ve met all types. From lonely people of indeterminate gender looking for some virtual vice to misanthropic rednecks engaged in heated discussions about the connection between liberal humanism and devil worship, IRC chat is truly, to steal a phrase from the good book, “a house with many rooms.”
      Increasingly, citizens of countries with a less than liberal attitude towards free speech have turned to the internet as their only link to the outside world. For them, even in cyber land fear of persecution is never far behind. A few weeks ago I was engaged in a little Mandarin cyber chat with some fellows who, I assumed, were in Taiwan. I based this assumption on the fact that they were writing traditional Chinese characters (rather than the simplified ones used across the straits), not realizing that my computer was automatically translating for me. We were having a fine little chat about the merits of various graphics programs, and I decided to change the topic and ask their opinions on Jiang Zemin’s visit to America. There was a short delay, then a string of angry red Chinese text shot across the screen. Translated, it read:
“We have no opinion on the subject, please do not bother us anymore!”
     And almost immediately I found myself kicked off the channel. I realized then that my chatmates from the Mainland, and that I had breached the rules of etiquette in a most serious manner. I tried to re-enter the channel to apologize for my boorish behavior, but found myself permanently banned. Sighing, I logged into #amish_rake_fight for some politically neutral fun..
Information overload
     Whether you’re interested in playing games, engaging in debates, or finding out about news as it happens, Internet Relay Chat has it all if you know where to look. However, if you are just wandering through the channels, IRC seems of dubious value -- too much information to filter through with very little in the way of organization. As a tool for keeping in contact with overseas loved ones in real time without the real phone bill, IRC is OK, as interplatform communication requires no special software (as opposed to programs such as Microsoft Net Meeting, or Mirrabalis ICQ, both of which require you to install their software) .
     If you happen to be the type of person prone to obsessive behavior, perhaps the world of IRC chat is something you’d best stay away from. It is an activity that is easily habit forming, as the denizens of chat channel #irc.addicts will attest to. And on that note, I need to finish this story up. I have some computer work to catch up on.

The author, J. Samuel Brown, can be reached at phibes@asiaonline.net.tw, and will answer any queries if not otherwise engaged.

(Sidebar)Hooking into the world of Internet Relay Chat is only slightly more complicated than surfing the net, and if you’re already set for the net, you’re halfway there.. You’ll need a computer, internet account, and of course a modem. The faster your modem, the faster you’ll be able to communicate. If you want to read Chinese, you’ll have to have either Chinese Windows or some translation program running.

Go to this web site --http://www.mirc.co.uk -- and download Khaled Mardam-Bey’s fantastic internet relay chat program, MIRC. It’s self extracting and has a terrific help file that should have you on your way in no time. Once you’ve got the program installed, log into your internet account the way you normally would, and then open the MIRC program. You’ll see a long list of possible channels to log into, far more than you’ll ever need.

Experiment with different channels and see which ones suit you as far as size, types of discussion groups and transfer speed. Big city channels (DALnet: US, NY, NY City, for example) are usually crowded and filled with a variety of discussion groups, small town channels less so. Once you’re logged in, just chose a discussion group from the list that will scroll down the screen (after you type /list ) and try to keep calm amidst the swirling verbal chaos that might be ensuing around you. Be patient, experiment, and most of all, HAVE FUN.