August 12, 2000: R2K Philly March of the Puppets

The GOP's week long infomercial ended as it began, with empty rhetoric and helium balloons. Substantially, there was little difference between it and a massive Amway convention. The convention was so finely scripted and reduced into themes and catchphrases that even the veteran talking heads seemed stymied at how to spin nothing at all. Dan Rather's face muscles barely moved during the coverage. He seemed slightly nauseous, as if unable to stomach the regurgitation he was forced to spew in his position as the state's leading media puppet.

The GOP's puppetry skills were evident in John McCain's speech. McCain's dislike for Dubya and the political special interest groups that he serves is no secret. Even the mainstream media had a tough time swallowing his unabashed lap dog pep barkings from behind the podium. McCain is a tough man, a former POW. One can only assume that GOP heavies were holding a gun to the head of one his loved ones… "Just smile and read from the script, Johnny, and no one gets hurt."

Dick Cheney took the podium on Day three. Democrats can take heart in the knowledge that George Jr. has inherited his father's weakness for choosing poor running mates. Dick Cheney is a man with the charm of a rabid woodpecker, and the circumstances of his drafting were dodgy. ("I've given myself a Pulitzer prize for this column, and if you don't like it, tough"). Cheney projects a kind of "least favorite uncle" image. His smile is forced, and he is nearly bald. America has not voted in a bald man over a haired man since Eisenhower, and Ike had a killer resume.

Cheney's voting record on South Africa will be hung on a flagpole for all to see. Opposing apartheid in South Africa was the issue that even armchair activists got involved in, and one of the only instances in recent history where sanctions actually had an honorable result. Even the most middle of the road voters will be dubious of the man who "voted against Mandela," which is how it'll be boiled down.

If events inside the convention center were scripted by the GOP, events outside might have been scripted by the anarchist playwright Alferd Jarry. During the week, marches and rallies (planned and spontaneous) erupted throughout the city. Highway on-ramps were blocked by clowns. Streets leading to the convention center were made unpassable by spontaneously executed soccer matches. At times, the protests took on a carnival atmosphere, and this seemed to enrage the powers that be even further. Events took a surreal turn early on when police raided the "ministry of puppetganda," a warehouse in which activists, many of them dressed as clown, were building puppets. After a tense standoff between cops and clowns, 70 activists were arrested. According to the Independent Media website, there were over 400 confirmed arrests made over the course of the week.

Some of those arrested in Philly were taken to Holmsburg Prison, a facility built in the nineteenth century. Released prisoners tell tales of beatings, humiliations and deprivations. One prisoner describes it as "a dungeon with four-foot thick stone walls, bizarre acoustics, layers and layers of flaking lead paint and bitter-tasting faucet water that fizzles like hydrogen peroxide". Prosecutors have set unprecedented high bail for non-violent civil disobedience, ranging from $15,000 to $30,000 and higher. John Sellers, Leader of the Ruckus society, had his bail set at $1,000,000. While this is an amount typically reserved for serial killers, Sellers is being charged only with "numerous misdemeanors".

Mass arrests and gross human rights violations of this sort would be mainstream news had they happened in Beijing, and soon followed by the usual litany of finger wagging at China's human rights record from both sides of the house. But why should the mainstream media report on such an insignificant item as the suspension of the bill of rights outside when the ruling parties have prepared such a fine smorgasbord of prefabricated fluff inside? The media was too busy to shed tears over the destruction of some puppets outside. On stage, It was Howdy Doody time.

Next week: The Tinkerbell Factor

copyright 2000 Joshua Samuel Brown

comments? Email me at "josambro at josambro dot com"
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